February 24, 2018

You Are So Smart – What Not to Say to Your Kids!

canstockphoto11881257This article below was posted on my Facebook this morning and it hit right at home with me. I have felt that there was just something off about telling my kids they were smart. My #3 is brilliant and will not try anything if he cannot succeed immediately at it! Frustration has reigned since he was little at his seemingly lack of desire to exert any effort.

In a parenting class years ago, I was taught to make my praise specific. Do not say – “you are beautiful” for example. Proof is now starting to surface supporting my hunch. If the praise is general or innate, they feel powerless. It is a weird cycle, but I get it. I just never applied it to their smarts.


Seems I am not alone in this either, 85% of parents practice the art of letting their kiddos know they are smart. Repeatedly!!

Read this article and see what you think – as for us here, new verbiage is being added to our parenting hopper!

Find more great articles like this one to also add to your hopper!

About the author: By

Julie is an awesome parent (along with her husband Matt) to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the Parenting Allies website.

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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are parents of children with special challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this website have worked for us on our parenting journey.

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