February 24, 2018

Searching for My Birth Mom

Hi all –
Lately I have been seeing lots of these posts on Facebook where someone searching for birth parents is holding a sign similar to ones you see on the street corners asking for $. And I am somewhat struggling with this.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not at all against adopted kiddos finding birth families, done it myself with my own. What I struggle with is this very private information being shown for all the world to see. I don’t know why but it seems to have the potential to do way more damage than good. Again its not the searching, it is the public way of doing it.

I don’t know, but if the reverse were true (and I have seen birth parents looking for their kiddos too), and it was my kiddo they were looking for, well that bugs me a lot!

A lot of hard choices were made in that life changing moment years ago, no matter how it appears. And everyone was forever changed. I think I would like to see that taken into consideration in the searching.

There are places that you can post privately your search and that are free and it ensures that both parties are open and willing to take that next step.

I guess that parenting traumatized kiddos has made me super alert to the potential of further traumatizing them. Just my loving mama’s 2 cents today.

Take care of yourselves.

About the author: By

Julie is an awesome parent (along with her husband Matt) to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the Parenting Allies website.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. I agree with you Julie. But on the flip side it is so hard and expensive to do it on your own especially with closed adoption. and with social media makes so much easier and cheaper. I think about when I did it the big thing was giving some lady I didn’t know a 100 bucks to find my birth name. but I thought to myself I need this information to go on I have to take a chance. Best 100 bucks I ever spent

    • I am more open to the kiddos instigating the search than the bios. I just suggest treading carefully as everyone has lots of emotions around this. And doing it publicly might be easier but not always best. My #2 had a different experience than yours sadly.
      Matt recently posted..Teen StressMy Profile

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge

Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are parents of children with special challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this website have worked for us on our parenting journey.

Affiliate links may be used within this post for products we recommend. They in no way affect our judgment of said products, nor do they affect the price of the product.