January 22, 2018

Modern Day Friendships

Howdy! I read this really cool article the other day titled Old-Fashioned Friendship. And it sure got me thinkin’.

You see, for some reason we tend to think that the best way to grow up children is the way we grew up. Why is that? Let me share from that blog the part that caught my eye.

When I spent time with friends we giggled in the backseat of the station wagon and bragged about our sticker collections, which Michael Jackson song was our favorite, and how many layers of socks we could successfully roll. My daughter sits next to her girlfriends and they iMessage one another while bragging about how many people have *liked* their photos on Instagram, and debate which game in the app store is their current favorite. I guess the way we manage our friendships isn’t so different, after all, because there’s still a whole lot of giggling. Read full article

This is how I figure it: my boys love video games.  Some, they play them together, like Mario Kart, and some, they each have their own file, like Minecraft. The together ones come in competitive forms and team building forms, like combat games. On the individual games, they share tips, cheats (I know, I know), and some games you can share tools, weapons, potions, etc between games. And I haven’t even hit on the games they play online with their friends who are sitting at their houses. This is not so different than we were kids. How so, you ask? Well let me connect the dots.

As a tweener, I would sit with my friends in my room, sharing makeup, clothes, boyfriend tips, how to outsmart teachers (and parents!), working on the latest Seventeen magazine hairstyle. All while our radio is blaring out The Partridge Family. The only difference here – my kids have their Ipod blaring from the Ihome! And if my friends couldn’t come over – heaven forbid – these things were done via telephone! This would be text message, Skype, or online game sharing now! Don’t even go to the physical exercise part. We weren’t exactly doing the Presidents Fitness test in my bedroom!!

Hmm sounds like there is nothing new under the sun to me. Nice visiting~

About the author: By

Julie is an awesome parent (along with her husband Matt) to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the Parenting Allies website.

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Comments

  1. Interesting and thought provoking, Julie.

    You know what I fear though? That’s the loss of personal relationship interaction, that today’s technology is starting to impact on. I’m a technology junkie myself but I’m also very much a relationship based person. With young people though (and I can use my stepson as an example), there’s a growing disconnect in regard to face to face ‘Social Sharing’. Chatting to your friend via Facebook Chat when he/she is sitting right next to you is just the beginning.

    What’s your thoughts since this is actually vastly different to days gone by?
    Martin Cooney recently posted..How To Have a Healthy Romantic Relationship as a Single ParentMy Profile

    • You’re exactly right, Martin. I work as a mobile loan closer, and I have the opportunity to meet many people, for the 20’s on up. I’ve recently found that many of the 20 or 30 somethings don’t really communicated very well, face to face. It’s hard to engage them in conversation. I have a feeling it has to do with the fact that they spend much of their time texting and facebooking, and aren’t very good at talking! Either that, or they just think I’m an old geezer and they really don’t have anything to say to me!
      Matt recently posted..Kids Health – Thursday TipsMy Profile

    • You pose an interesting question, Martin. I chewed on this for a bit after I saw your question. Mostly thinking what is a relationship? My answer’s pretty simple – people doing things together that they both enjoy, shared experience that builds closeness and memories. For my kiddos, this happens – video games, texting, ichatting, they are building relationship. They have a gaggle of buddies to prove that.
      Now their communication skills outside of their cronies, well that might be another blog?!
      Julie recently posted..Kids Health – Thursday TipsMy Profile

      • That’s my point, I see that as more being in the company of others as opposed to a cohesive bond that a relationship is.
        There’s a very big difference between a male and a female who share the rent and live in the same house and that of a male and a female living in the same house that are in a relationship.

        Face to face socialising and really getting to know and understand another person, especially in young people, is being driven apart due to the short sentenced world we now live in – exacerbated by the likes of Facebook.

        My $0.02 cents worth 🙂
        Martin Cooney recently posted..The Best Ways To Screw Up A RelationshipMy Profile

        • This is a question I ask on a regular basis, and part of the reason I wrote the original post Julie referenced above. (thanks for the mention, btw!) I am a firm believer that as parents we must model and enforce the best behavior here to provide plenty of opportunities for our children to interact with a wide variety of individuals (both adult and adolescent) to learn how to build those face-to-face relationships, and how to carry a meaningful conversation.

          Unless we encourage and remind and provide opportunities, effective communication will become a relic.

          Having said all of that – I work with adults aged 25-65 in corporate America, and the number ONE challenge inside of EVERY single organization is poor communication. This isn’t a problem that’s endemic with the 20 and 30 year-olds. It’s a problem that’s rarely been addressed. Perhaps technology shines a light on the weakness that we culturally perpetuate.
          allarminda recently posted..Because I’m a GeekMy Profile

  2. Exactly my point, Arminda.
    What we think is good socialising is our judgement, based on looking through our own rose-coloured glasses.
    Stepping outside our own education and actions, for the sake of our children’s well-being, is a great little exercise to do.

    In my day job as a GM for a business in in the Online Marketing area, I mix with many ‘geeks’. Thankfully my passion for relationships tempers the natural tendency to rely on technology for everything and look for balance. There is very much a disconnect that permeates today’s businesses in what is good communication and how to improve it.

    It’s worth looking at how we better counter what’s been in the past and look for a better future, especially when our children are concerned.
    Martin Cooney recently posted..Is Technology Destroying Relationships?My Profile

  3. I can really relate with you guys. Modern technology really help us a lot in so many ways but there is really a negative effect to our kids. Kids now a days are really dependent with this technology so I really did my best to limit them with this and try very hard to expose them outside to see the real world!
    Lynne recently posted..Does University Courses Executive Coaching Make Sense?My Profile

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