November 21, 2017

Listening to Your Teenager

My teenagers have occasionally been known to say “you aren’t listening”. In an attempt to prove them wrong, I mean to be supportive, I searched on the terms listening to your teenager. Desperately looking for what listening skills this highly communicative, professional woman was missing. I was shocked to see most search results were focused on getting your teenager to listen. This seemed a bit heavy handed from us parents, don’t you think? Raising teenagers so far, for us, has been more about leading by example than telling them what to do. That transition from parenting children to parenting teens can be a rough road.

I was able to find this exceptional article which explains that teens want to talk to their parents and how we parents can get the ball rolling.

Listening to Your Teenager

Listening to Your TeenagerSome kids just need an invitation. Others need more time to open up. Still others, though, are like the girl who said, “Every time I attempt to talk to my parents, they either yell at me before I tell my whole story or lecture me. If they’d be more open to talk with me and let me do some more talking, I’d talk with them a lot more.”

Wherever you and your teen are on that spectrum of speak­ing, things can get better. And they will, when you take advantage of some tools parents and youth workers and counselors have been using with the kids they care about. Let’s help you and your teen get to a deeper level by stocking your com­munication toolbox. Full story here.

Most of these tools are not new or rocket science. Just great reminders that you have the ability to be listening to your teenager more so than you think. It starts with listening to them first, listening without fear, judgement, criticism. Here is a memory jogger.

When you try to understand your teen, you may find that your old way of doing things doesn’t fit with your new experience. Don’t be afraid to try things differently. I hear teens saying that things are going well with their parent’s when:

• Rules are not arbitrary… we discuss the rules and reasons, and my parents are willing to be flexible.
 I am a valued member of the family team… my parents ask me to help make decisions for the family and require that I am an active member of the team. Rest of story.

Gain further insight through a couple of recent tweets.

It’s so valuable to have parents that believe in their teens. This is what I’m talking about. @finding_joy rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/06/why-te…

 

 

The relationship during your kids teenage years does not have to be fraught with miscommunications and misunderstandings. Listening to your teenager will definitely improve your teenager listening to you.

About the author: By

Julie is an awesome parent (along with her husband Matt) to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the Parenting Allies website.

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Comments

  1. Listening to our kids is very important. Sometimes due to busy schedule I wasn’t able to talk to my daughter and I feel guilty about it. Now I make sure to have a good conversation with her everyday. 🙂
    Lynne recently posted..Self-Help: Become a Counseling Expert or Get Coaching Help?My Profile

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