The diagnosis of ADHD or Asperger’s carries a lot of concerns. One of these is how ADHD/Aspergers children make friends. There is hope. As a mom of 5 children, 3 with special needs, I can remember wondering will kids ever accept them. And more so, will they have close friends who want to play with them.
At first, they seem to attract only other kids who also had special needs. This made for some interesting arrangements to say the least. Two kiddos with little empathy and low coping skills was not a good mix. It seemed my concerns were well-founded as I found myself trying to intercede. Let’s just say there was a lot of frustration and hitting. (Not me, of course!) I did find this article that addressed my concerns.
How ADHD/Asperger’s Children Make Friends
Children who are inattentive can appear shy or uninterested to other kids when offered to join in an activity or become friends. When hyper-focused on an activity, book or video game, this child doesn’t look up when other kids say, “hi.”
Even when an inattentive child looks up and responds, they might not take the time to notice facial expressions and gestures. Their peers will quickly judge, calling them rude, stuck up, or weird. Other children will just neglect the inattentive child. Complete story.
I found this to be true for my kids. They couldn’t stand still long enough to have a conversation. And when they did they were so silly and obscure that the kids eventually got tired of the nonsense talking. Not to mention just the annoyance factor. If they had to stand in line, they had to have something to do. Since there is usually nothing to do “with”, the child next to them became the target to prod or poke, or spit on – ugh! My husband and I did start using the Total Transformation program to help with self-control and self -redirection. And we have seen some hopeful signs.
Sadly, they couldn’t get the clue that the kids didn’t like this. Even when the other kid screamed and the teacher got involved. They were clueless. The results of all this was to be ridiculed by their peers.
It did help when a teacher would not just react but take the time to invest in them. Here is a short video on just such teacher.
Having informed professionals can do amazing things to help these lovely ones to first, fit in and watch for social clues. Second, to actually start positively interacting with friends. Finally, to keep friendships going. That is hopeful. This was the case for Thomas Evans, who at 18 years old had the great privilege of carrying the Olympic torch.
10.58am: 18-year-old Thomas Evans, from Willoughby, takes over the Torch relay. Tom was born with a number of problems including ADHD, Aspergers syndrome, dyslexia and dyspraxia but, with the help of his adoptive parents and his four brothers and sisters, he is well-integrated into the local community and the grammar school which he attends. Read the day’s timeline for torch carrying.
This is hopeful news. How ADHD/Asperger’s children make friends does not have to be the impossible mystery that it seemed! This is definitely within reach.